Saturday, December 18, 2010

Thanksgiving Bowl

Thanksgiving Bowl

"Good Evening Folks,"

"Welcome to the Thanksgiving Bowl! I'm Dirk Giblets coming to you live from the Smith's kitchen. We're just about ready for the big Cook-Off." (Husband and Wife Thanksgiving dinner cook-off.)

"And the coin toss goes to Mrs. Smith.. and there's the Stick-Off! (Mrs. Smith sprays a pan with Stick-Off) What could this be? It's a Blueberry pie, folks! I don't know how the opposition is going to best that!"

"What's this?! Mashed Potatoes!!...with Brown Gravy!! Perhaps we've underestimated Mr. Smith. It seems he's come with a cook book. " (cookbook that has directions that look like a football play.)

"Wait, what's this?! It seems that Mr. Brown's potatoes are not legit! " (Hiding a box of instant potatoes behind his back. Ref calls him on it with a red flag and a whistle.) "That's a downright shame folks! A downright shame!"

"Mrs. Brown is not about to let up on him though. There will be no mercy at this Turkey Bowl folks! Those are homemade rolls, and boy do they smell goooo...oood!"

"Now she's making homemade stuffing!... Candied Yams!....Green Bean Cassorole!...I'm afraid to say it folks, but this looks like an absolute massacre!.. I don't know how Mr. Smith could possibly make a comeback now. I think the only thing that could make up for his severe lack of planning would be a nice, juicy, ....meatloaf!? (he gulps)"
(Mr. Smith has been sneaking up behind the turkey with his arms out and a twisted smile on his face. The turkey looks up to notice him just before he says "meatloaf". Mr. Smith grabs him by the neck and yanks him up and out of the screen.)

The table is spread with a silver platter in the center. Mr. Smith lifts the lid and the cooked turkey lifts his arms and says, "Touchdown! What an upset folks!" Turkey then slumps down with his eyes closed and tongue out. Mr. Smith smiles triumphantly, Mrs. Smith frowns, and then "Happy Thanksgiving!" text appears.

Drunken with Eggnog

Drunken with Eggnog

Christmas is the most stressful time of the year for some be slow to judge.

Drunken Santa: Cheeeers to anutherrr great year!! (hic) (lifts his mug)

(Santa chinks his mug with several other mugs held by reindeer hooves)

Drunken Santa takes a big swig, slams his mug down and shouts, "Rooo (hic) dolf with yer nose sooooo bright! Won't youuuu drive my sleigh tonight?" Crazy Laugh

Bartender: "Forget it Santa! Youz aint goin nowhere tonight! Just take a look at yer boyz over there!" Gestures to the pack of reindeer around a table all wasted. Then we pan over and see Rudolf under a trough with a spout marked "Eggnog." His belly is huge, his nose blazing, and he looks absolutely wasted. His head is still under the spout with a glazed look on his face. " I'm clean out o nog thanks to youz guys!"

Have a Happy (and Safe) New Year!

Elf Curses

Another e-card concept:

Elf Curses

Adorable Little Christmas Elf is making a toy truck. He's in the process of hammering on one of the wheels when he smacks his thumb with his hammer.

He hops up and down on his chair, holding his injured thumb, and spouting several of the worst elf curses, "OOOH, PEPPERMINT STICKS!!"

Other worker elves look up in surprise at the outburst.



Other worker elves gasp in horror putting their hands over their mouths.

He sticks his thumb in his mouth and starts to suck on it. He looks around with a guilty sheepish look.

End Card with Message : "Hope Your Hollidays are Filled with Elf Curses!"

Gamer Santa

This is an e-card I'm going to be making:

Here's the script:

Gamer Santa

Santa is sitting there playing video games very intensely.

Mrs. Claus calls out from the kitchen,

"Congratulations Santa! Your "One More Second!" has just turned into twenty-four human hours and you've let 2.4 billion children down!"

Santa makes a funny face and jerks the controller to one side forcefully then goes back to neutral position and stares in disbelief at the screen. He drops the controller, buries his face in his hands and starts to cry, "Oh, no ho ho ho!"

He then stands up abruptly, turns and yells out to Mrs. Clause while shaking his fist, "Do you have ANY idea what level I was just on!!! That was my last life and you made me die! Now I'll have to start all over from the beginning!"

He sits back down angrily and grabs the remote.

Cut to end message "What if Santa was one of us?" Wink Wink